Board Breaking

A step in the right direction...

I have decided to seek some counseling.  My self esteem has always been bad.  I have decided not to be in a relationship for a while. I need to get to know myself again. I had very strong feelings for my ex, and he meant the world to me, and this is the first time i've ever had a broken heart...I am setting up an appointment with a counselor for after Thanksgiving.  Hopefully it will help me out on my journey.  I have been eating healthier, and I have to say my anxiety level isn't as bad which is always a good thing.  

Aside from that I have had some amazing friends who have stood behind me through everything.  I am trying my best, but there is still a lot of pain in my heart.  I hope the pain goes away soon.

Picture of the Day

Blah

Today is rough...Having dreams, and having trouble sleeping...Wish I could just let everything go.

Picture of the Day- Jessica White 2012

Feeling Better

Ok folks, I have to honestly say I have been feeling oddly better lately. I've been talking to a lot of new people, and basically keep busy.  I am currently involved in a handful of projects, and am doing really well at work. Things are going pretty good.  I am no where near where I have to be, but I can do this. I know I can.

SO I am planning a photo day.  I am thinking of going to Great Falls or even Pennsylvania.  The scenery would be nice.  ANYWAYS, time for my 3 hour class at school...BLAH..

PHOTO OF THE DAY

Jessica White 12'

Feeling better

So I have been feeling a bit better this past week. I have a lot to be thankful for..I have a great job, doing well in school, great family, and I have my beauty and health HAHA. lol. Seriously, I took too many things for granted, but I am starting to see I like the person I am becoming. Once you go through something hard you get a bit stronger every time, and that is what is happening. So I feel better. :)

PHOTOWALK this Sunday, so I will have some more pictures posted. :)

PICTURE OF THE DAY-Jessica White 12'

How to start

Ok so I have a bit of a plan to help launch myself into where I have to be. Apparently all people think is that I am some spoiled white girl who gets everything handed to her, which believe it or not is not true. I work, and pay for a lot of what I have, but I cannot afford a car payment, insurance..I am a full time student, and I work part time during the week. I do not know what else people want from me. I am constantly being told to grow up, but the problem is when I get going on the right track someone or something always drags my mood or motivation back down.  I am starting to believe what people say, and that really hurts me. But I have to stay strong, and stick to my gut. Which is what I intend to do.

There are not a lot of real people here anymore. The majority of people condescend or judge most people, the only reason I know this is because I used to do it. I don't anymore though. I want to be a good person in my eyes, and I think I can be. It will just take some time.  BUT if I want something bad enough I have to work for it..and I will get to where I want to be, regardless of people's nasty comments.