Day 19 and 20

Ok so today was not successful, but yesterday was. I ate tons of veggies and chicken. However today I cheated by having one slice of pizza and a cookie. I did do an hour walk and a 45 minute Taekwondo class, but I feel terrible about it. Tomorrow I am starting the day off with hot yoga, and I got a bunch of fruit and veggies for tomorrow. I feel like I can make up for today if I work extra hard tomorrow. ugh. Gonna relax, feeling crappy

Day 17 and 18

I have been very consistent with eating healthier, unfortunately the past 2 days all the exercise I got in was 1 Taekwondo class and an hour walk. Lets just say its not a good week to be a girl. LOL. Anyways, I went up to Papa John's Farm to get some fresh kale, peppers, and tomatoes. I feel healthier eating it, its just I wish the weight got off faster. I think the biggest discouragement to me is wanting something so badly and then not being able to get it right away. I know patience is the key with this, I just wish I didn't get myself into this int he first place, but we live and learn. One thing I am extremely excited for this upcoming month is the Glen Burner. It is a 5k run and a 2k walk. So I will definitely be doing the two haha. Not sure I can run 5k all the way yet, but hell I will try. My boyfriend and I, along with a few friends will be doing this event. Anyone interested save the date. It is October 19th, at 8AM. The cause for this event is to end child trafficking so of course I will participate.

Day 15 and 16.

I honestly have to say that I am proud of myself. I have been consistently eating vegetables and proteins, DID NOT exercise on day 15 but I did yesterday. I began my training for a 5k in October. I think that I might be over doing it some, mainly because I have been aching in my knees and arms ALOT. Almost feels like it is arthritis. It definitely has been an emotional 2 weeks though, but I finally had my AHA! moment. I think that is why I have been able to keep consistent with eating habits. My moment was just realizing how lucky I really am. Not only health wise, but also in the sense of who I am and what I can do. I really have been short-selling myself, and not just with food, but with people as well. I've made these changes...Am I there? No...I don't think people really ever reach the point they want to be at early on in life, but my biggest realization is that we all become shadows at some point, that what we do now is so essential to our final moments when we look back. I don't want to look back and remember things that I shouldn't even worry about. I am healthy, beautiful, and talented, and I have restricted so much from myself simply by being afraid. That is not going to happen anymore. My life will be ruled by what I want, and not by what people think or say. Its rough, and there is much more ahead of me, I know this, but I know I will be prepared, and if I fall I will bounce back up. I have to say, its amazing to finally look in the mirror and smile.

Day 13 and 14

Ok, I have been much better these past few days. Breakfasts have been veggie patties or oatmeal. Lunch a chicken wrap with avocado, corn, and peppers. Dinner last night was beef with rice and steamed egg. Dinner tonight was a piece of sour dough bread with melted reduced fat cheese, topped with a tomato. BUT I had 2 oreos afterwards so I'm feeling bad ab that. HOWEVER, I am getting back heavily into my Taekwondo and then I do Zumba, Hot Yoga, and Body Pump. I am honestly going through something really hard internally. I am not feeling good. I feel as if I know what I have to do, I just don't initiate it. I feel like I'm losing something If I completely give up bad food. I don't understand. I know the changes I have made has made me happier than ever, however I am not completely there yet...But I will be. I know it.

Day 12

Day 12 was much more successful...I had cream of wheat for breakfast. Lunch was a wrap with chicken, reduced fat cheese, onions and black beans. Snack was an apple, and dinner was whole wheat pasta with asparagus. I feel a lot better today, also did quite a bit of walking. For the rest of the week I have a lot of exercise days. Tomorrow is Taekwondo, Wednesday is Body Pump and Zumba, Thursday is Zumba, Friday is Taekwondo and Saturday is my day off haha. I shall then end the week with hot yoga...definitely not weighing myself until the end of next week...letting the unholy demons that I have consumed over my birthday weekend burn off this week. I am very optimistic. Also been consistent with my tea :) Life is good

Day 10 and 11...oh boy

I am not even going to post the obscene amounts of food I ate over the weekend. It was my birthday weekend, and I went a little overboard. >.> DEFINITELY hitting the gym hard this week....will post tomorrow with update...ish

Day 9- TOTAL success

Today was the best day I have had yet. Breakfast was oatmeal. Lunch was roast beef wrap with grapes, cheese and carrots. Dinner was beef with rice. I did one hour of Body Pump which KILLED ME, and then an hour of Zumba. I finished off the night with a cup of green tea...Wow I feel good. When I was working out I hit a certain euphoria that I have never felt before. I pushed myself more than ever, and my body is exhausted. I know I can do this. I have no need for sugar, fast food, or anything. I want to give a shout out to my boyfriend. Today he surprised me with a binder he had put together for me. In this binder was pages of research on weight loss and what would work better for my body type and such with out causing harm to me. He told me I am perfect the way I am, but if I want to get healthy he will always support me. I am very blessed and am learning the meaning of genuine people. Things can only get better from here.

Day 8

Today was very successful. I walked a mile this morning, and started off the day with a small bowl of cheerios. Lunch was half a roast beef sandwich on marble rye and snack was nectarine, string cheese, and a greek yogurt with a little bit of honey. Dinner is grilled chicken with asparagus. Was very sad I could not do zumba today :( My car was in the shop all day...the alignment was messed up...must have hit a curb or two the past few weeks lol Anyway I am feeling super motivated, and cannot wait for tomorrow. I got through the day with out indulging in anything bad, and I was very active. Body is starting to feel awake again. :)

Day 7

Ok so I did not do bad today. I woke up and had one egg with wheat toast. Lunch was a bowl of cereal and roast beef sammy. Dinner is a lean cuisine and grapes. Got some walking in today and also am about to do some weight training. I have a HORRIBLE headache today. I think the sugar is getting out of my system a bit because my body is nuts right now. Anyways I have Taekwondo tomorrow, followed by my first Zumba class on Wednesday...I'm very excited to do this class. So I am actively looking for a full time job, hopefully with the Federal government. I find that my ambition is steadily rising. I want to go to the top. I have found what I wanted and now I want to start my life. I am slowly finding myself through every little step I am taking. Everyday I get more brave, strong, wise, and aware. I cannot wait to see what tomorrow brings. Good or bad I am going to face life with a positive attitude, and with a drive to live.

Day 5 and 6

Ok so the last two days I have not been that good. We celebrated my birthday this weekend instead of next because I will be busy. So I indulged more than I should have, and what is the result? I feel bloated, gross, and unhappy with myself. Tomorrow starts out my intense working out...hopefully next week will make up for my slip ups this week. OK SO I will say this though. I notice my stomach has gone down a bit, and I feel like I have more energy, which is good. So next week I expect to be feeling even better. ALSO been drinking lots of tea. It fills me up and makes me feel healthier! Will check in tomorrow with how I did for the day. Need the support. -.-

Day 5-Whoa

Ok so I started today off really good. I had a bowl of oatmeal and water. I then proceeded to have my usual morning cup of coffee and went to school. LUNCH time rolled around and I pigged out. I had pasta (About 2 servings I would say) it was a bow tie pasta with broccoli and some sort of cream sauce. It was two spoon full. I then had green beans and collard greens with it, as well as a piece of tilapia (not even half a portion) and a cookie. Now little did I know that SOMEthing was undercooked...so about 20 minutes later I was puking in the toilet. Learned my lesson. Dinner is simple tuna with a little bit of asiago cheese melted on top with water. Workout today was Taekwondo, and I am looking forward to my Hot Yoga on Sunday...whooey...what a day. On a bright note I am implementing a lot more veggies into my diet so I am definitely feeling healthier, and even my brother said I look skinnier...that NEVER happens haha. So I am doing well, and I am willing to raise the bar for next week. Fingers crossed for weigh in!

Day 4-BOMB

Definitely blew today, not badly, but did not do as well as the previous todays. I woke up today and had one serving of cream of wheat and OJ. At lunch I had a PBj with reduced fat cheese and watermelon. Dinner was 2 tacos from Taco Bell and drink. I felt so bad about dinner, but I do not get out of school until 5 so I was starving, guess next time I will have to pack extra food 0.0 Anyways I was quite active today, got a good 45 minutes of walking in as well as climbing stairs. When I got home I did some photography which I will show in this post. I am very happy with how these came out, I am using a new program called Lightroom that I got for my classes. Hope ya'll enjoy.

Day 3

Ok so Day 3 was NOT eventful at all. I did good food-wise, but no physical activity for today. I took a me day and stayed home!!! I gave myself a facial, and got tons of relaxation. My nerves do not feel as fried! Food for today was 2 pieces of wheat bread with 2 eggs 2 pieces of turkey sausage and organic hash. Snack was fruit and yogurt bar, and dinner was chicken and asparagus. No lunch today, honestly I was stuffed from breakfast. I also had some tea and tons of water. I am stuffed!!! OH and I will not forget I had an oatmeal raisin cookie. It is low in cal and sugar (no artificial sweetener) and high in fiber. I am finding that shopping at places like Trader Joe's and Fresh Foods makes it a lot easier to find healthier alternatives to food you like. Tomorrow I will be attending a group fitness class after school, and get in a killer work out. Nervous for my weigh in on Monday, but we shall see. I have been good with food, and trying to overcome feeling lethargic. Now although I have not reached my goal weight yet, I find myself taking care of me more. For instance I am giving myself facials, doing my hair more often, I have been having me time to think and reflect. All of this is helping me out. I am about to graduate from college soon and hopefully get a better job and start my life. I am extremely excited. One thing I found out is that fear is non-existant. Its an emotion we create based off of what we are not comfortable with. I know the feeling of fear way too much, and I refuse to let it rule me.

Day 2

Ok so Day 2 was rough emotionally for me. I did not sleep at all the night before. Missing my kitty cat :( Also watched a scary movie and couldn't sleep lol. Well food wise I did good today. I had yogurt for breakfast, lunch was PBJ with reduced fat cheese on sea salt crackers and water. Fruit for snack, dinner was healthy choice soup and chicken. There was not alot of physical activity today. I was in school and I did a lot of walking around campus, as well as up an down a lot of stairs. Lol UMBC LOVES STAIRS! Emotionally I am going through a lot. I feel this tension inside of me building and building until the point where I feel so anxious I want to explode. But I am finding myself, and this is odd for me to say but I am becoming a bit religious through this process. Having faith in something higher than yourself gives us a feeling of security. I am starting to get joy out of small things. I have amazing friends and family. I am in love with the best man in this world, and most importantly I am starting to see myself for who I am. I guess I was just afraid of that person at first, because it would mean I have to come out of my comfort zone. Got the news today that I WILL be graduating this December. I am up for a huge adventure. The whole reason I began this journey was to establish self love for myself. I am way to hard on myself, and I often times pushed the people who were good to me away. Now I am surrounding myself with good people who genuinely care for me. I took so many things for granted in the past, but I will not do that anymore. I becoming a new person. I have no regrets...If I regretted anything I wouldn't be who I am today or where I am today. I am starting to have faith in myself again. And that is something worth fighting for.

Day 1

Ok so I am happy to say that Day 1 was not as bad as I thought it would be. Started the day off with 2 eggs, scrambled with a little bit of sweet potato and peppers. Then it was off to the gym for 1 hour of intense cycling. (My friggin legs are so wobbly, I feel like Kermit the frog). Then lunch was 2 pieces of eggplant with low fat provologne and marinara. I had a protein bar as a snack and chicken, zucchini, and asparagus for dinner. My dad bought cookies from the Fresh Market so I had one 0.0 BUT aside from that I stayed within my calorie range, and got a really intense workout in. I'm feeling pretty good. NOW normally the hardest part for me is eating at night. Usually I work until late and do not have time to eat, however I made sure to eat dinner earlier than usual. I do not feel hungry, just have a feeling its gonna hit me right before I got to bed...BUMMER. But thats ok. I'm gonna stay strong...Ended the night by watching a movie, which unfortunately happened to be a thriller so now i'm all scared...I should not watch movies like that.. I get scared too easily. Tomorrow I have school in the morning, mid-day workout then late night working so I made sure to pack food to bring with me tomorrow. Even though I did good today, it ended up being a sad day. My cat of 20 years, Cookie, had to be put down due to health issues. We are very sad, but we want to celebrate her life. So I am dedicating this post to her. R.I.P Cookie girl.

90-Day Journey

Ok so here is the deal. I have lost a total of 80pounds over the past few years. I have currently plateaued. Over the course of the next 90 days I will be documenting my weight-loss journey. I purchased a 90 day fitness journal where I will be recording all my workouts/food consumed. I will then weigh in at the end of every week and post my record weight with before and after pictures as well. My initial weigh in is tomorrow morning. Wish me luck >.< You can follow me on twitter as well. Jesslovestkd